Ok, this might get long because my mind is spinning, but I need unbiased opinions from people who don't know me IRL.
Our situation is a little funky.
DD1 is 7.5
DD2 is 5.5
There would be at minimum, a 6.5 year difference between DD2 and DC3. That's a big age gap. I know there are pros and cons to a large age gap.
DD1 and 2 are only 22 months apart and are very close. I was 28 and 29 when I had them so I would be 36ish when I have DC3. So, not too old, but definitely older than when I had the first two.
I'm concerned about it for a couple of reasons.
#1-My health. I have MS. I have had a very (knock on wood) mild case. I didn't have any exacerbation after DD1 and one with DD2 when she was 5 months old. I haven't had any since then.
#2-My DD's health. Both girls were dx'd with Epilepsy-Childhood Absence Seizures in May of last year. This can be outgrown. But DD2 got Lupus from her seizure medication. This is VERY rare! It has been a very tough year and she has been on Prednisone since September and is losing all the hair on her head from the inflammation. Her inflammation markers were the highest thet have ever seen at UCSF pediatric rheumatology. So it's been tough.
DD2 also suffers from anxiety and attention issues. She bites on all her clothes and gets very worried about things like fires, and earthquakes, etc..
Both girls had colic. It sucked. DD1's colic turned into sleep apnea. She was a beast until she was 3 years old and we figured out the problem. So it was like having a newborn with colic and a toddler with colic too at the same time. I swear I have PTSD from that period.
If you had asked me 2 years ago if I wanted a third I would have laughed like a maniac and said no way.
DH has ALWAYS wanted a third and not because he wants a boy. We both know we will most likely have another DD and we are both totally fine with that.
Lately, I'm feeling that pull to have a third. I just realize DD2 little feet and hands are not so little anymore. I'm realizing I miss having a little body in the house.
We both know if we are going to do it, we need to do it ASAP since we're not getting any younger. This is our final chance to have a third.
We can handle it financially, but I worry that because both our girls have health issues, are we foolish to bring another child into this world? I feel selfish when there is a great chance this child would have health issues too. DH says we don't know that...
So, what do you guys think? Yes on the third? Do you have big age difference between one with two super close? Am I too old? Did I miss the boat? Is it unfair when we have two children with health issues?
My brain tells me to just let it go and move on. My heart is telling me our family isn't complete.