Intervention?

[Raidra]

Have you ever participated in an intervention for someone? My sister's therapist thinks we should try to get my mom into rehab. She had a gastric bypass a year and a half ago and had lots of complications.. she's pretty much addicted to oxycodone now (and is slowly weaning off Ativan as well) and has undergone a big personality change (not in a positive way). I've had lots of issues with her, both related and unrelated to her changes since the surgery, and I don't think that anything we say to her will get her to go into rehab. I'd be happy if she just started seeing a therapist herself (hoping that said therapist would encourage her to go into rehab), but my sister thinks that us basically threatening her into rehab will fix both her addiction and get her therapy for her other issues.

Just wondering if anyone else has done something like this, any advice or resources I should check out..

Thanks!

[MommyofAmaya]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I very recently had a tragic experience related to my mother and her issues. We had a semi-intervention with her and I'm sad to say it was not successful. She went from promising to go to inpatient care to discussing med possibilites with her GP. The ladies here had very good advice for me, and I imagine that much of it would apply to your situation as well. If you search my recent posts, it is the thread titled "Guidance and advice, please".

[ewpmsw]

So sorry to hear that you're facing this, and that your mom is having a tough time. I'm not sure that threatening someone into rehab is the best route. The whole point of rehab/recovery is that the individual makes a decision to make change in their life. If the person feels threatened or coerced, that can undermine the process, as well as that person's relationships with the ones perceived as pushing her. Encouraging your mom to see a therapist or GP who could support her and provide resources could me a more empowering approach. IMO, she's more likely to be successful in her recovery if she feels she's in control of the decision-making process. It may be helpful for family members to see counselors or therapists themselves for support. Professionals could give your family advice on what is supportive and healthy vs. what is potentially unhealthy/unhelpful.

This sounds like a tough situation. I wish you the best, however you decide to handle it.

[hillview]

Hugs. This is a lousy situation. So sorry.

My childhood girlfriend tried an intervention twice with her mom (alcohol). It failed. That said, she felt she had done everything she could. Her mom recently passed away ("died in her sleep"). I think my friend found peace with the situation a few years ago. Perhaps doing the intervention attempts were part of that peace she had found (I don't know).
/hillary

[Raidra]

Thanks guys. No, I don't want to threaten her, either.. but it's getting to the point where if she doesn't make some drastic changes (not necessarily with the medication, but her behavior in general.. though that's probably influenced by her medication), my husband and I feel forced to drastically limit contact. Since we share a two-family with them (that they own), it will either be very difficult and awkward, or we'll move out which will most likely send them into foreclosure.. which we're very close to anyway. My sister is planning on moving to LA in the fall anyway, but she's on the verge of moving out early (probably to her boyfriend's) as well.

There will come a point very soon where, if she hasn't made changes, we will have to have this talk, and I'm not looking forward to it. I'll read the Guidance and advice post, too.. I had started reading some of it (and sympathised with you a lot re: not feeling very supportive), but I'll go back and read through all the responses.

[scrooks]

My sister and I conducted an intervention with our mother about 5 years ago (alcohol). We actually tossed her in the car and dropped her off at rehab. She went through the program but ended up back at the treatment center exactly a year later but this time she went on her own. She was much more sucessful the second time. I wish I could say that was the end of the story but this past Christmas she checked herself in again. She was in bad shape but we knew she had to do it on her own or it wouldn't work. I am happy to say she just celebrated 4 months sober. I am also enough of a realist to know she could end up there again. It's a terrible diesase. I do know one thing...treatment does seem to work better when the person goes on their own versus being forced.

Good luck...

[Raidra]

My sister and I conducted an intervention with our mother about 5 years ago (alcohol). We actually tossed her in the car and dropped her off at rehab. She went through the program but ended up back at the treatment center exactly a year later but this time she went on her own. She was much more sucessful the second time. I wish I could say that was the end of the story but this past Christmas she checked herself in again. She was in bad shape but we knew she had to do it on her own or it wouldn't work. I am happy to say she just celebrated 4 months sober. I am also enough of a realist to know she could end up there again. It's a terrible diesase. I do know one thing...treatment does seem to work better when the person goes on their own versus being forced.

Good luck...

Thanks. This is all new territory for us.. obviously, she was (is) addicted to food, but never drugs of any sort, never drank more than once or twice a month, and always in moderation. Never even smoked. She's done great weaning off the Ativan, but I suspect her oxycodone usage has gone up a bit. The good news is, she has an appointment with her GP tomorrow to discuss how to get off the pills, and my dad is trying to get an appointment to talk with her GP by himself today.