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  1. #1
    trumansmom is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Default In dire need of advice and prayers

    I just got a call from the director of DS' preschool/former daycare, and his best friend, Masyn, choked on a hot dog at home last night and, in spite of being Life Flighted to the hospital, is showing no brain activity whatsoever. I don't know what to do. Masyn's mom is apparently, and understandably, in complete denial and doesn't want children to know until Masyn "gets better." That most likely will not happen.

    I don't know what to do for her. Should I send flowers to the hospital? Just send a card? Go visit him? I have no idea. We aren't close, but obviously are friendly since our kids are so close.

    And how do I tell Truman? I won't tell him anything until I know what preschool will be saying, but he's a super sensitive kid, and I want to be prepared.

    I'm just heartbroken. He's only 4.

    ETA: Please keep Masyn, his mom Angie, and his dad in your prayers.

    Jeanne
    Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

  2. #2
    kdeunc is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    I have no advice for you. Your post made my stomach sink. What a horrible tragedy. Their family and yours will be in my prayers.
    Kelly

    DS 1 12-02
    DS 2 12-04
    DD 07-08

  3. #3
    psophia17 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    Oh my god. I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could say something more than that.

    Big hugs to everyone - how horrible.

    Petra
    Mother of Two
    Owner of BaDumBums

  4. #4
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    i just keeping saying, "oh, oh, oh" over and over again. i am so sad.

    i think all you can do is follow your gut. it is not your job to end her denial, so i would keep remarks to "i am praying for masyn" or "i am so sorry this happened" instead of anything that suggests you are already mourning him.

    i would tell truman that masyn is sick or that he is hurt if you need to tell him anything right now.

    i am so very, very sorry for his family and for truman. my son's friends are so important to him and i can imagine how special masyn is to truman.
    Liza has been hangin' around this board for six years.

    My sons are 4 and 6. And they are very loud.

  5. #5
    LD92599 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    Oh my goodness. So sad :-(

    Laura
    mom to William

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  6. #6
    ellies mom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    No advice either. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. How heartbreaking.
    Veronica

    Miss Ellie 11/03
    Baby Audrey 4/08

  7. #7
    chlobo is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    So sorry you and Truman are going through this. I'll keep you all in my thoughts.

  8. #8
    tarabenet is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    Oh, Jeanne, what a shock. I'm so sorry. Could you manage a visit? I am sure it would be a difficult thing, but just seeing someone make such an effort can be very meaningful to a family in crisis. But of course it would mean just going along with her denial of his condition, making it even more of a strain on you.

    Obvioulsy, I have nothing useful to suggest about how to tell Truman. What a heartbreak for you to have to deal with. And what a tragedy for that family to live with.

    Hugs and prayers to everyone affected by this little boy's situation.

  9. #9
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    Girlie-

    I'm saddened and horrified to hear of this tragedy. As far as Angie goes, I would ask her (or her DH) what she needs. Does her dog need to be walked? Can you make calls for her? Can you go grocery shopping and fill her fridge? If nothing else, maybe send something to their house. I'd be afraid that visiting him in the hospital may be viewed as an intrusion, KWIM?

    Basically anything to make her life marginally less complicated so she can not have to deal with anything. Do they have a church or synagogue they attend? Perhaps call their rabbi/chaplain/priest and fill them in on the situation.

    I can't even imagine what she's going through. My biggest fear is something happening to the girls.

    As far as what to tell Truman, I'd have him sit down with you and D. Tell him that Masyn's had an accident and Truman won't be able to see him for a very, very, very long time. I don't know what (if anything) you've told him about death, but I'm sure you can probably find stuff online about how to talk to him. How 'sophisticated' is he? From the brief stuff I've read, kids don't have the ability to grasp the finality of death until they're older.

    If Masyn's parents choose to donate his organs, perhaps you can explain to Truman that although Masyn isn't here anymore, he's helping a lot of other little sick kids.

    Is the school going to have grief counsellors on hand?

    I'm so very sorry.

    -m
    Wife to Jonathan
    Mom to Sophia 12/02 and Amelia 12/04

  10. #10
    bcky2's Avatar
    bcky2 is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: In dire need of advice and prayers

    that is just horrible. i feel so bad for masyn and his family and will keep them in my thoughts.

    as for what to do i would probably send a card, i dont think that i would go visit if i wasnt that close to the family. how sad :(
    Becky, mom to hootie and nugget.

    "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

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