have you ever known someone whose gone to Harvard vs. other top private schools.....

[jent]

Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Naval Academy, competitive honors programs at UVA and other big schools ... all in my class at my public high school.

Where I grew up, the public schools were better than the private schools.

Pretty much the same here. Also, my town was a town that people moved to, and paid higher taxes, "for the schools." I know my parents did. So a lot of us were expected to apply to the Ivies and top tier liberal arts schools.

[EllasMum]

I went to school (from kindergarden through grade 12) with a guy who ended up going to Princeton on a hockey scholarship. He was very intelligent, and while the hockey thing didn't work out (due to injury), he did end up becoming an orthopedic surgeon and now is the surgeon for the Toronto Blue Jays.

[kijip]

My brother went to Dartmouth and left after his freshman year. He was miserable there. As a kid from a non-elite high school from a working class family, he felt very out of place.

I have a few friends who did the same- they couldn't handle the old money stuff based on where you went to prep school and who your parents were or the constant invitations that required spending a lot of money and ended up transferring to different programs. And I know more that stayed but felt uncomfortable to some degree. Some of this is economics and some is class/regional background. Even some very well off kids from my city felt socially out of pace with the NE social scene. Some transferred to top west coast schools just to feel more at home.

[DrSally]

My brother went to Dartmouth and left after his freshman year. He was miserable there. As a kid from a non-elite high school from a working class family, he felt very out of place.

I know a lot of really incredibly bright people who went to Harvard and other Ivys. And a lot of incredibly bright people who didn't.

I agree it can be very hard to be from a working class background and be at an Ivy or something akin and barely be able to afford a winter coat, while you see students with BMW's and not worrying about money at all. I really believe that working your way through builds a lot of motivation and character though. Even though it s#@ks at the time.

I do agree with pp's that there is a lot of grade inflation at Ivies. I think you can get a great education at many public research universities. But, one thing about an Ivy that gives you a leg up in life is the network you build! They tend to be self-perpetuating.

[salsah]

i probably know more people (from my high school) who went to top ranked universities than not. i went to a big public high school so there was a little bit of everything from those who struggled to get into jc's to those who were accepted into every ivy-league. among my friends, we all went to top universities and a large number went to stanford simply because their parents are alumni.

[MelissaTC]

DH went to a small, Catholic college in NY. He had the grades to go anywhere but he loved the school and that is where he went. He later went on to Columbia for grad school. If you ask him, he will tell you that he preferred his little Catholic college. Columbia had its perks for sure and definitely opened up a lot of opportunities for DH. But he still loves his Manhattan College better. So there you go.

[nfowife]

I don't really think much of it. I have friends who went to an Ivy, I went to Vanderbilt, DH went to USNA and most of our circle of close friends are USNA grads and their spouses. We are East-coasters as well, maybe that has something to do with it? I think it's not so much where you went but what you make of it .

[boolady]

I think it's not so much where you went but what you make of it .

My mother used to say this about many experiences in life, and now that I'm old enough to realize (or accept) that she knew what she was talking about, I think you are 100% right.

[parelle]

I went to a Philadelphia Main Line prep school so yes, there were 2-4 kids a year who went to Haaaarvard while another 12 or so went to one of the other Ivies (the majority of those, like me, went to Penn). There were also plenty of people who attended one of the small liberal arts colleges too. That said, impressive is our local public school, where my sister went - who also went to Penn too, after all, without the price tag of my prep school. If you were in the top 10 people there, you'd have a very good chance at going to an Ivy (needless to say, I wouldn't have been - hence the prep school).

That said, I've come around to my husband's position that unless you're going into business, law, or medicine where those connections really matter, go some place you can afford for undergrad and save the big name for grad school. He went to the University of Kentucky's honors program, went to Penn for his PhD, and most of his friends from college went to similar places for their graduate work.

[mrgdess]

Similar story here. It isn't that unusual from my perspective.

Same for where I grew up.