s/o- logistics for kid activities

[elektra]

How do you all manage getting your kids to all their activities, especially WOHPs?

I am having trouble figuring out how I am supposed to get everyone where they need to be!
Right now this is lineup starting next month:

DS:
Swim lessons on Wednesdays- the nanny takes him in the am.
Baseball- practices at some point during the week in the evenings, and Saturday games
Music- TBD

DD:
Ballet on Saturday mornings
Softball on Wednesdays at 4:30pm and some time on Saturdays
Swim at 1-2 nights per week- our choice of day, meets on Saturdays sometimes


THe softball baseball thing for both kids in the early evenings is what is tripping me up. How do I get both kids to their practices, especially when they officially start when I am supposed to be working, and I can't be in two places at once?
My dad can probably help sometimes, but how does everyone else do this? Oh and I got roped into being the asst. coach for DD's team so I can't just have the sitter take her. (Maybe I can do that for DS if there is a conflict of days though.)

[Percycat]

We only pick activities that fit into our schedule. Right now, DS and DD take piano back to back on Wednesday, DD has scouts on some Thursdays (I am leader) and DS has scouts on some Thursdays (DH is active volunteer). The kids are currently in a science club that meets after school on the day they were already scheduled to be in the afterschool child care program.

Last spring, DD and DS were on soccer teams and I put on the registration form that I wanted the teams to have practices at the same time. This worked great for our family because they were at practice at the same set of fields at the same time and I ran for exercise on the path around the fields during practice. This year, however, we aren't doing soccer because it is too difficult to schedule.

Presonally, I am trying to reign in our family commitments caused by DD and DS activities. I would like to find more time for our family to just be together as a family, more quiet/down time, and more date time with my husband.

Good luck trying to make everything work.

[sste]

We also prioritize very highly anything the kids can go do together - - DD and DS take two different gymnasics classes that meet at the same time/place in a huge gym facility.

For anything music we just agreed we would pay through the nose, whatever it takes, to have the teacher come to our house! Once we move we are hoping to persuade a piano teacher to come to our house and give lessons to me, DS, and eventually DD.

Carpooling with other families?

IME it is very beneficial to have the DH take on as a regular thing responsiblity for at least one activity -- gives DH special time with that child and you can have a cozy night or morning home with the other child. But it has to be an ongoing commitment - - so your DH has to make that time or he has to arrange someone else to drive. Otherwise it is just more on your logistical plate IME!

Same with your father - - great to involve him, but must be standardized to x day/time every week.

We have identified two people who drive kids for money who we trust greatly and we use them to fill in.

[egoldber]

We only pick activities that fit into our schedule.

Some things just don't work out. I also specifically picked an after care that offers lots of activities that the kids enjoy.

[lovin2shop]

Ugh, this has been a struggle for us as well. It will really get interesting when my younger DS gets going in activities, as he has barely started. DH has a flexible schedule when not traveling, and he often coaches, so he does a lot of transporting. Our nanny helps out a bit as well. I commute from town, so I do have to take off early if there is no other option.

The kicker of all of this is that most of the sport leagues around here just randomly assign practice days and times, and put the game schedule out often less than a week before the league starts. You have pay prior to knowing practice times and game schedules, so I've seen many parents visibily upset when they were not given refunds to cancel when it was impossible with their schedules. I used to hold my breath before opening every sports related email, but I've learned to just go with the flow and know that it will work out somehow.

My biggest tip I can give is to get a flexible carpool group going. DS2 plays various sports with a big group from our neighborhood. When we can, we always volunteer to take / pick up other kids, and when we need to ask for a ride, I don't feel so bad.

[Simon]

We both WOH and have very long commutes. Basically, our kids do a lot fewer activities than most of their friends, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I believe in the value of our kids playing together and having lots of unstructured play time in evenings and on weekends.

So, previously, we only did weekend or summer classes. We are starting a weeknight class for the very first time, and only because it only 5 weeks so if its too much of a hardship at least it won't last long.

We primarily do Sat. am classes, but I find them very disruptive to our family weekend time so I don't like even those.

We also limit activities to usually one at a time for Ds1 and Ds2.

[sste]

I also specifically picked an after care that offers lots of activities that the kids enjoy.

Oh yes, this! We aren't at that point yet (pre-school age) but we are seriously investigating aftercare. Do you have a community rec center or JCC that offers aftercare? I don't know how far that will get you with team sports but in my area those places offer swimming, music/piano, gymnastics, drama, mad science, etc.

I suspect that team sports are the hardest logistical activities because they are multiple times per week. I know that is important to your family and kids though. Could you limit it to one kid/one team sport at a time. So, if swimming is swim team could you drop it to just lesson only or even skip during the softball season and then do swim team when softball ends for your two?

[brittone2]

I don't WOH, but it is a total pain when activities conflict, especially if DH is traveling. We have gotten through it until this point okay, but it can be tough. Maybe talk to other parents about carpooling and so forth.

My DS1 is getting old enough now that soon I could have him wait 10 mins after practice for me to pick him up and he'd be okay...so if I am shuttling back and forth between dance and baseball and DH is traveling, it would be alright. It is toughest when they are really young.

[infocrazy]

Our boys do a lot. DH works nights, so it is all me.

My advice:
1. We are lucky enough to have options for some programs and I pick the one that works best for ME. I am lucky to have a pretty flexible job, but I definitely prefer things that have a set schedule v dynamic.
2. When I register, I ask for specific things, doesn't necessarily help but you never know.
3. I request exceptions. Last year, I was able to have DS2 play up (missed the cutoff by 2 weeks) to get them on the same Tball team. This year, I may have DS1 play down (this is harder for me to want though because for the most part, I don't believe in playing down)
4. As soon as I know the coach, I beg. For example, DS1 had a weekday practice scheduled at 5, our house backs up to a soccer field. I asked (VERY nicely) if he had no preference, if it could be there so our sitter could just send him out and he did! YEA!
5. We do a lot on the weekends--but partly so DH can also attend. It does make for CRAZY weekends though.

Spring sports starts soon. This is the worst time of year. The worst. This year, I think my sitter is going to have to take DS1 to practices on occasion. This will be the first time for us but as they are getting older it will become more necessary.

[KrisM]

I don't work, but I still can't get 3 kids to 3 places at the same time . We limit things so they fit into our schedule. Each child can do 1-2 things at a time. Right now, DS1 and DD are both in 2 activities, but 1 for each meet at school right after school, so I just pick them up at 5:30 when it's done. Then, they both have 1 evening activity.

One thing that will help is when they're old enough to just drop them off. We have a chess club that is drop in and has no commitment. It's at exactly the same times as TKD. I drop DS1 at TKD and take DD to chess. I don't need to sit through his class.