RE: mamas with a history of difficult pg.....
Lynne-
I can completely sympathise. Some of the Mommies here may remember that Sophie was a twin. At my 19w u/s to determine the sex of the babies, we were told that her brother Harry had something called acqueductal stenosis. It is a narrowing at the base of the brain that prohibits normal drainage of cerebral spinal fluid (CSF). Because the CSF can't drain, it builds pressure in the ventricles, causing them to enlarge.
I went through a rushed amnio to determine if it was chromosomal, and to see if Sophie would be OK. Went through numerous consultations with some of the best pediatric neurosurgeons throughout the country in person and on the phone, even going as far as to look into the possibility of in utero surgery to correct the situation.
Sadly, the pressure became so great, Harry's brain tissue ceased to develop. We ended up doing a reduction on him at 24w. Had I carried him to term, we risked losing Sophie, and he would have only lived for a couple hours, likely in severe pain. It was a horrible, horrible time in my life. Thankfully, Sophie arrived at 38w2d via c/s completely healthy.
We had to go through fertility treatments for both Sophie's pregnancy and this one with Amelia, so it wasn't a surpise to us. However, it's not been easy for me at all. I have no family support to speak of (I'm sure you've read of my psycho Mother), and physically, pregnancy and I do not mesh well at all.
After knowing how frighteningly wrong things can turn, I'm forever expecting *something* to happen. I am always assuming that today will be the day I end up in the hospital, or start bleeding, or lose the baby. I feel Amelia move and think my water is going to break.
It's a sick game our minds play on us. Just know, that in the end, in all likelihood, it will all be fine.
You have a long road ahead of you, but many of us have tread before you. Please know we are here to hold your hand. PM me and I will be happy to give you my number.
hugs
-m
Wife to Jonathan
Mom to Sophia 12/02 and Amelia 12/04