Can breastfeeding be keeping my son from eating food?

[deborah_r]

DH and I are having a rather heated discussion about why our son hasn't gained any weight in about 5 months, and he feels like maybe DS holds out for BM. I don't think so because he usually only nurses once during the day (he does nurse some at night, sometimes a lot, usually only one real feed. He nurses before bed.

I am so confused, it has me wondering. I feel like I've seen a lot of instances of people on this board and others who BF past one year and have weight gain issues, so could there be a connection? Now I've got the Ellen Satter "abusing the nipple feedings" mantra running through my head.

Why won't this child gain weight? Why does he devour eggs one day, then want nothing to do with them for weeks? Why will he not eat meat? Why does he only love fruit and green beans? Why won't he eat a grilled cheese? He like bread, he likes cheese, why not grilled cheese?



EDIT TO ADD: His weight chart since birth, attachment. Yes, I am that worried. And I'm taking him for a weigh-in tomorrow.

[trumansmom]

Because he's almost two!

Although we didn't bf beyond 13 months, DS didn't gain much weight between a 12-24 months. He was too busy running around! And he won't eat very much meat either. Some kids are just that way. I wouldn't worry about it. Your son sounds completely normal to me. Of course, I'm comparing him to my crazy DS!!


Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[deborah_r]

He has maybe gained a pound since his one year appointment. I believe he has grown about 4-4.5 inches in that time.

I guess something that has me worried (I think I saw a similar argument to this over on MDC) is it seems like I keep hearing people worried because their toddlers are not on the weight charts. And the peds say to give them the Pediasure, and milkshakes, and butter, butter, butter, and cheese...and then you hear about all these overweight kids. Am I going to push all of this "questionable" food on him now, and have him develop a taste for this stuff and stop liking his fruits and veggies? And all he will want is high fat, buttery, sugary, salty food?

My DH is convinced that everyone else is filling their kids up on soda and candy and we should do that to make him gain weight. I think he is just responding to my paranoia with an answer he knows I will not like, but I'm not entirely sure he is kidding.

PediaSure semed to give him diarrhea, so I stopped that after one can. I do give him Carnation Instant Breakfast, and I am worried he will eventually refuse to eat (oops, I mean drink) plain milk.

Thank you for your response Jeanne. Did Truman start gaining weight after the 12-24 month stage was over?

[wagner36]

>Why does he devour eggs
>one day, then want nothing to do with them for weeks? Why
>will he not eat meat? Why does he only love fruit and green
>beans? Why won't he eat a grilled cheese? He like bread, he
>likes cheese, why not grilled cheese?
>

Well, Charlie weaned at about 13 months, but I could have asked every single one of these questions. And more. At least you've got cheese and fruit. Charlie hates cheese (except pepper jack) and will not eat fruit (although we made some big strides this week when he tried to drink the juice from a manderin orange container - yuck!). We can sometimes get him to eat meat, but only when it has really strong flavors.

So, I really don't think it has anything to do with nursing - even if he is nursing a lot at night, it still isn't enough for him to avoid food. Plus, breastmilk is complete nutrition! Charlie likes his fluids too - he would drink 50 oz of milk a day if we would let him. He walks around all day doing the milk sigh and begging for us to fill up his cup. Kai is getting much better nutrition from YOU than Charlie is from the carton, you have to trust yourself on that one.

Charlie's weight gain has slowed down a lot. He's really tall, and still a good %ile for weight, but he has definitely dropped. He's SO active, he just can't remember to eat.

We do our best to fill him up on healthy higher fat food (yogurt, avocados, etc.), but every single say is a struggle.

(and the grilled cheese thing - bizarre huh? We have the same problem....and eggs too - one day he loves them, the next day he gives us looks of disgust when we cook them)

Toddlers!

[jubilee]

birth.......... KAI- 7#3 oz........ LOGAN 9#9 oz
2 months ...... KAI- 11#13 oz
4 months ...... KAI- 15#12 oz
6 months ...... KAI- 17#12 oz...... LOGAN 19#
9 months ...... KAI- 19#9 oz....... LOGAN 20#11 oz
12 months ..... KAI- 20#13 oz
15 months ..... KAI- 21#2 oz
18 months ..... KAI- 21#5 oz....... LOGAN 25#1 oz

Look at the trend- by 4 months Kai DOUBLED his birth weight, my son didn't double his weight until 9 months old!! Now at 18 months, Kai is TRIPLE his birth weight- my son hasn't tripled his weight yet (and he is almost 22 months). Maybe Kai is finally leveling off a bit from his quick weight gain! My son now weighs just over 26 pounds- hasn't gained much in the last four months either. I think your son is probably fine- hopefully seeing my numbers will reassure you of that! (And Logan has been weaned since May and is a big food eater!)

[deborah_r]

Thanks Julie, that is an interesting perspective. I am forgetting that DS wasn't exactly a big boy at birth. I just worry seeing that curve on his chart flatten into a line, you know?


BTW, if anyone is thinking "Didn't she read Shannon's thread with the article from the UK?"...I just did. Didn't notice it before, and I do chck here pretty frequently. That was also reassuring.

[quikeye]

Wow, I was just coming here w/ the same questions/concerns you have, except my Kai is at 12 months...

Ped says we gained less than a lb btw 9-12 months, and where he was HUGE at 2-4 months (like your son), he's now dropping below 50% percentile & is exactly 20 lbs now...

I want to keep bf'ing, but I'm worried that it's keeping my son from really recognizing that what we eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner is nutrition... he'll try different things, but he's not *into* food at all... and still "addicted" to nursing. I don't think he's going to give up nursing anytime soon, and I don't want to, but it bothers me that I keep thinking it's the nursing that' hindering his progress with olumes of food (he eats like a bird, and a lot of the time I feel like he doesn't *get* that the food is nutrition like bm is...)

I'm getting the same "push fats on him" advice from ped-- mix olive oil into it! ("into what?" into everything!) He even looked @ my partner (who's puerto rican) and said, you guys could make some CHURROS! ::laughing:: (DH was pi$$ed). And advice to drop a feed (we're at 3x during the day, and maybe ? at night/co-sleep)... but we nurse to sleep still for naps & bed so I don't see it happening...

I'm scared of the weight dropping as well. I don't want to feed him junky stuff, but maybe just getting more calories into him... argh. At least we're starting milk, that'll be a new source, I hope... He's neevr had junkfood before, and my only solace is thinking that maybe some babies on the charts were big b/c of their junkfood eating... (I mean like mcdonalds, etc-- I saw a babe younger than K with a cheeseburger & fries the other day...)

Sorry I'm not much help here, but I do empathize... ::sigh:: we're going for a weight check too, in a few weeks.

[trumansmom]

I don't remember exact pounds, but I do know that last winter from October to around May, he was still wearing 18-24 months jeans. This year he is wearing 3T's and has almost outgrown them. I THINK he's gained about 5-7 pounds or so and I KNOW he went from 5th percentile for weight to 25th.

We were told to do the junky food as well. I took that advice in moderation. DS HATES butter, but likes ice cream, so he often shared a bowl of ice cream with us in the evening. We also used Yoplait custard style yogurt which has more calories than most.

Good luck. Parenting is tough, huh?

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[egoldber]

"Why won't this child gain weight? Why does he devour eggs one day, then want nothing to do with them for weeks? Why will he not eat meat? Why does he only love fruit and green beans? Why won't he eat a grilled cheese? He like bread, he likes cheese, why not grilled cheese?"

Because he is a TODDLER! LOL!!! They live on air and thrive on hearing mommy's frustration about them not liking foods they adored yesterday. I can't tell you how many times Sarah has turned up her nose at a food I *know* she loves and say "I no like it!" Or eat 2 bites for dinner and be "all done".

My DD has only gained about 5 pounds since she was 2. This is NORMAL and what you WANT them to do. They start to lean out and get long and lean. Its all normal, normal, normal.

And while I love Satter for her solid food advice, she is not a breastfeeding expert and I would especially take her advice about extended breastfeeding with a big grain of salt.

HTH,

[sntm]

Deborah BIG BIG HUGS!
I will look up the growth charts for BF babies for you soon and plot Kai on them. I'm just taking a study break now and past my alloted time.

Remember, weight is just a MARKER for nutritional status. Appropriate weight does not equal appropriate nutrition. Low weight does not mean low nutrition. There are 90th percentile kids who are malnourished (soda, candy) and 3rd percentile kids who are perfectly nourished.

It's one thing to advise increasing fat/protein intake, to insure that the needs are covered. It's quite another thing to advise increasing calories by any means necessary regardless of nutrition just to treat the number.
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shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03
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Breastfeeding 19 months and count