gown advice on getting bridal gown salespeople to back off

[fayebird]

Hello all,

This is my first post on this forum and I'm afraid it's going to make me look like a cranky person. I'm sorry, if so! But I hope someone will help me with some advice.

Everything I hear about shopping for a wedding gown makes me absolutely dread the entire experience. In fact, my wedding is August 2 and I have not yet started shopping for the gown because I think it's going to make me seethe with resentment. Salespeople make me uncomfortable as it is. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I prefer to be left alone and most salespeople don't leave me alone even after I say "I'll call you if I need help, but I am fine until that time."


My specific issues:

1. I'm private -- I don't like someone dressing or undressing me (I understand that there is probably no getting around this)
2. Even more importantly, I'm an independent shopper -- I know what looks good on me and do NOT want or need the unsolicited opinion of a bridal shop's attendant on what looks good on me and doesn't look good on me or how a particular dress works or does't work. Plus, I'm shy. If someone is lurking and gawking at me while I try things on, I won't be able to relax enough to really decide if I look good.

My specific questions:

1. Are there any reputable shops that sell higher end dresses (as much as I hate the cinderella tradition of being dressed and coddled, I DO want a beautiful, formal gown and am willing to spend on it) where one is allowed to look at the gowns and select which ones to try on?

2. Are any of them hands-off with you while you try on?

3. In case someone is pestering, does anyone have any advice on how to tactfully tell a salesperson (I don't want to be rude, but I DO want to get my point across) that I'm not interested in her opinion?

I know I probably sound like a misanthrope, and it's quite possible that I am! But I genuinely dread this gown shopping so much. To me, it seems extremely intrusive. Thanks for reading!

[MsTeacherLady]

Hmmm... I'm not sure if this will help you at all since I get the impression that the shops that carry the nice gowns also have the attentive sales people. I did, however, go to Bridals by Elena in Severna Park, MD today, and had a really nice experience. The woman who helped me was not at all pushy and she really listened to me, only picking out dresses that truly reflected the things I was looking for. She never steered me towards dresses way outside my price range or away from "the look" I was after. If you want a more hands off shopping experience (and you won't get offended with them being a little annoyed with you), you could just show up on a Saturday without an appointment. Some people (mostly high school girls looking for prom dresses I think) did this while I was there today and they were obviously frustrated with it, tried to be polite, but couldn't give them nearly the attention that I was getting. In terms of the actual fitting room, the woman asked if I would be more comfortable if she left the room while I changed, so that might be good for you, but unless you happen to wear the sample size, there's no way you could get a good idea of what the dress would actually look like on you without someone helping/buttoning/pinning/etc. Best of luck!

[fayebird]

i went to Hitched in DC today. I gave myself a good talking to beforehand, and promised myself I'd be polite and just deal with it. You're right -- I hadn't anticipated how difficult it would be to get into and out of the dresses. The salesperson who helped me was relatively new, and perhaps for that reason didn't hover too much. The owner interfered for a while, and I find it interesting that she strayed further from my ideas than did the original person who had been helping me. I'm not interested in strapless and said so from the beginning, and I said I'd be willing to try on one or two that really knocked me off my feet. The owner started piling up dress after dress. I finally had to say "If I only have an hour, I don't want to waste it on dresses I don't see myself wearing" and the lady gave me that "you never really know what you want until you see it on yourself" line. Yes, of course, no kidding -- but I'm 34, so at this point, I have a pretty good idea of what looks good on me as well as the look I'm going for. But once she went away and my original girl was back on the case I was happy again.

I think I'll end up buying from Hitched, but I might try one or two other stores before I completely decide.

Thanks again for responding!

Faye