Pacifier question-refusal

[lindauer72101]

Hello, I am not sure where to post this so I thought I would try here first. My seven week old daughter is refusing a pacifier. She started using one around 2-3 weeks with no nipple confusion. (I am bfing) Anyway, at about week six she had a growth spurt and since has refused the pacifier. She is currently using her hand as a pacifier. However, I really want to have some sort of control over what she is using to soothe herself. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to reintroduce a pacifier? She has used the Avent from day one and liked it. I just bought another one tonight to see if the ones she had used developed a bad taste or something after being tossed into the dishwasher.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Angela

[C99]

Angela,

My son also refused the pacifier after a couple of weeks. From what I understand, a lot of kids do and you have to "force" them to use it. In my son's case, I was just as happy to have him not have a paci than to have it, so I didn't force it. You may just have to find a kind she likes -- there are so many brands/kinds of pacifiers: Avent, Mam, Gerber, Nuk, silicon, latex, etc. You can invest in a few of those and see if they work and if not, just hold it in when she wants to suck.

Why do you feel that you need to control what she's using to soothe herself? There's nothing wrong with letting her suck on her fist -- it may be comforting for her and it's also a developmental/discovery milestone. Even if you do give her a pacifier, let her suck on her fist too. My son sucked on his fist, but it (so far, at least) has not developed into a thumb/finger-sucking habit.

[nwaddellr]

My DS would go through phases when he would refuse to take the pacifier, but then would take it again after a few weeks on his own. That being said, he was never one of those babies who absolutely needed his binky.

[psophia17]

My DS was given a pacifier because he had really horrible gas when he was just a week or so old, and the only thing that soothed him was sucking and there was no way I could BF 24/7, so that's what he got. It didn't take long for him to get really used to it, and then we ran into the problem of he wouldn't sleep or settle down at all without first sticking the pacifier in his mouth.

From my experience, you're lucky that a fist in the mouth is soothing to your baby - having to wean a baby who has gotten used to it off of the pacifier calls for many, many sleepless nights and fussy restless days. As long as her hands are clean, and baby hands are easier to keep clean than a pacifier is, I'd keep the pacifier around for when she's in a sucking mood and the fist won't do (like when she's hungry but has to wait a bit before being BF).

A good book to check out that has a lot of info on this topic is Your Baby and Child, by Penelope Leach http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0375700005/104-1963931-4819163?v=glance. My aunt, a registered nurse, gave it to me as a baby gift and it helped me figure out what to do both about the gas and about how to wean off of the pacifier once we were ready for that.

Good Luck!

-Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[HallsofVA]

We avoided pacifiers in the beginning, then introduced them around 3 weeks. My son stopped using them around 7 weeks, and started sucking his thumb, and I didn't push the issue. I was happy to have him use his thumb or fingers, thinking it would be easier in the long run. Around 3 1/2 months, my husband reintroduced the pacifier, and now he's hooked on it again. He'll generally use it when going down for a nap, and I generally have one with me in the car mainly to keep him from sucking on his car seat straps and connectors.

We use the Avent ones. Our newborn ones lasted through his 6-month birthday, then I finally bought some of the 6 month+ size. I was going to try some of the other versions, but he really likes to play w/the ring on the avent ones (pulling it out of his mouth and putting it back in) so we've stuck w/those.

[miki]

>Why do you feel that you need to control what she's using to soothe herself?

That's my question also. We tried to give DD a pacifier but she would never take it. At 4-5 months she started sucking her fingers and after that she was much better a putting herself to sleep. She always has her fingers in the middle of the night. There's no getting up to pop the binky back in her mouth.

In the beginning I was worried about her having this habit for a long time. I read up on thumbsucking and what I read indicated that almost all kids just outgrow their need to suck their thumbs and they outgrow it before an age when it would harm their dental development. And true enough, I have seen that the finger sucking has greatly diminished even over the past 6 months.

[quikeye]

Hi, our son didn't get a paci introduced til about 6 weeks (bf'ing too), and didn't like them at all. We tried every brand :) Our ped recommended a "Soothie" pacifier, which he did eventually take (we don't really use pacis anymore; he's a hand sucker and learning to use his thumb! :)) It's the only brand he would use and not pop out of his mouth, though we had to help him hold it in for a long time.

You can buy them on ebay, or online. Also, WalMart carries them as their "store brand," under PARENTS CHOICE name. You can check on ebay to see a pic; they're unmistakeable-looking. Cheaper than ebay-- WM was about 45 min drive for us, but we went and got them since ds was really a fussy babe early on & we wanted to see if it would help (only time helped) :)

Good luck; and don't feel too discouraged if babe doesn't want one right now. Babe might want one later on when they can hold it in themselves...

[ett]

I don't see any reason why she can't use her hand as a pacifier. My DS has never used a pacifier. The nurses tried to give him one when he was in the hospital for jaundice treatment and they needed to sooth him, but he wouldn't take it. I personally do not like them and did not want to deal with weaning him from it later on. After he discovered his hand, he happily sucks it for soothing himself. Babies are always changing, so this may only be a temporary stage.

[amp]

Seriously, as others have noted, your baby doesn't have to have a pacifier. Lots of people like to push them on their kids, and plenty of kids love them without any pressure. But my DS never really took to a pacifier. We were thrilled! Now it's one less thing we have to try to wean him off of.

And as far as using her own hand, well, at least she always has that with her! If you get dependent on the pacifier, you might just set yourself up for having to go into her room every 20 min. to reinsert it into her mouth for her. That wouldn't be fun! And, I don't think she'll still do that in college!

And as far as having control over how she soothes herself. I don't think I understand. We try to encourage kids to learn how to soothe themselves so they can feel safe, sleep on their own, etc. Why would you want to stop that? It's a good thing that she's learned something that soothes her rather than relying on you. I just don't get it I suppose.