What is the right thing to do in this situation?

[straightsmile4U]

Hi!
I need some advice. I have 4 bridesmaids of various shapes and sizes. They live all over the US and my wedding is in Hawaii. I am very thankful that they all are going to be able to come. I am of course worried about dye lot variations and I want to save them as much money as possible.
Would it be "out of bounds" if I ordered (and paid) for their dresses, and then had them be responsible for alterations and accessories?
Should I have them give me their measurements? Some of them are "plus sized" and I don't want to make anybody feel awkward.

If I do do this, where is the cheapest site or catalog that offers a variety of sizes (from plus to petite) that has a good reputation. I'd rather not deal with a bridal store. What would you do in my situation?
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR ADVICE!

[Dyonia]

I certainly don't think its "out of bounds" for you to pay for their dresses -- but as for having them pay for the alterations themselves, I'm not sure either way -- try asking one of those ettiquette people on some of the other wedding sites.

(FYI, I got my bridesmaids jewelery on eBay -- blue topaz pendants really cheap!)

I got my bridesmaids dresses here -- http://shop.store.yahoo.com/dave-johnny/index.html and was really pleased with the prices and service. They have a plus size section which goes up to size 24

I'd also suggest checking Chadwicks of Boston -- http://www.chadwicks.com -- they have a nice variety of social and evening dresses.

Also in the bridesmaids section of these message boards, under the title Plus Size Maids, I posted a list of websites that offer plus-size dresses.

I'd try to fit the bigger girls first, since finding something they'll be comfortable in and also suits your wedding style can be a challenge. A-lines are generally flattering to everyone, but if your wedding is in Hawaii, you probablly want something that isn't going to be suffocatingly hot -- nothing like a shopping challenge to sink your teeth into!

Good luck!
--Donna

[vkmom]

I saw somewhere where the bride specified the material and the brides maids could have a dress to their liking made. You could buy the material and they could pick out something that matches their body type. You could specify short length, sleves or not, etc. HTH

[lauraj]

Hi! I, too, paid for my bridesmaids' dresses. It was my gift to them as I'd never loved the idea of asking someone to pay for the "honor" of being in my wedding! Besides, they were from all over the country and were ALREADY having to pay a lot to even come to the wedding (similar to your situation), so I wanted to cover the dress cost.

Anyway, I got lucky in that all my ladies were pretty slender and between 5'6" and 5'10". BUT - my suggestion is to look in department stores for matching or complimentary dresses, or top-and-bottom outfits, and to try catalogs (like Chadwicks, or Talbots, or Spiegel).
I found mine in Neiman Marcus Last Call (outlet) - matching 100% silk dresses for $65.00 each! (Original price - $300!!!) Outlet malls are the best - Saks Off Fifth, Last Call, Ann Tayler, etc. Each gal had told me her general dress size and then had the dress I sent her altered slightly (hem, etc.) so it fit just right for her.

I would stay far, far away from "bridemaids" dresses - I have yet to see one look good on a bigger gal. I think you'll be able to find a much more attractive dress for less in a regular department store.

As for giving the ladies fabric and having them have a dress made, it has always sounded great in theory, but to me, in reality, it's a pain in the a**, because most of us are really not that familiar with seamstresses/people qualified to make a dress from the ground up. If everyone involved were friendly with an appropriately skilled person, then go for it, but if not, it seems stressful to me, and these sweet people are flying to Hawaii just for you! (which is awesome, by the way!) Just pick out what you think will work and what you like and either give it to them or tell them how to order it. Too many cooks spoil the soup, anyway!

Your bridesmaids all know you have their best interests at heart, and will be so pleased and thankful if you actually are able to pay for the dresses yourself that they won't really care WHAT they look like as long as they aren't hideous! And what bride would pick out hideous bridesmaid dresses? Then, if they need to have anything on the dress altered, they can cover those modest costs themselves.

Congrats and have a blast in Hawaii!